A couple of months ago during a phone call, a friend was challenging me about the activities I do to attract my ideal clients in my business. I immediately got defensive. “My business is still new and evolving,” I told him, “I'm still figuring it all out and seeking guidance from God.” But instead of letting it go, he pushed back harder. Again, on the defensive, I said, “Wait, you’re acting like you think I’m floundering here. Hey, I'm no flounderer, this is just my process. I’ll be all right. Don’t you worry about me.”

Real Talk

After an uncomfortable pause, he says quietly, “Actually I really do think you’re floundering, and this is just my opinion, right? But here are the types of things I’m talking about.” He proceeded to bullet point a list of actions that I could be taking if I was serious about connecting with female leaders who are my target clients.

This time I kept quiet because deep down I knew he was right. I’m used to being the encourager, champion, and sometimes wise counsel. I’m not used to folks telling me about their vision for me and encouraging me to stretch even more.

His ideas were great, but they would require a serious stretch on my part, and if I’m being honest, I really don’t want to have to do those things. I did them before in my previous image consulting business and dreaded those types of more strategic approaches to getting folks' attention and risking rejection along the way.

My friend ended by saying something like, “You’re a comprehensive leader, trainer, encourager and you’re not supposed to play small. I don’t see that for you.” I was quiet now because the tears were starting to brim over my eyes, and I didn’t want him to know I was sobbing.

I cried because I felt exposed. The voice of the imposter in my mind was strong, telling me, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. But deep in my spirit, I knew my resistance was about my own insecurities, not his points.

Vulnerability & Courage are Required to Play Bigger

I am so quick to call people out when I think they’re playing small, but this is exactly what I’d been doing. God gave me the idea for The Unveiled Way, He’s the reason why I pursued a coaching certification path. He’s the reason I knew in my heart that female leaders desiring to leave a real impact are my niche. I have been walking that out in obedience these past few years and seeing how aligned things are in ways I could never have imagined. But at the same time, I’m not believing that I can do the great things he’s planned for me in it. I see the small idea for my business, not the greater vision.

I know my friend’s words were God’s way of waking me up to my settling for less than His best for me. There are actions I can take to move this process along so I can empower the female leaders I’m meant to serve so they can impact the lives they are meant to. I need to show up bigger in my business. I need to do the uncomfortable things. I need to take up a more energetic space!

My playing small is not going to cut it because it's not how I’m designed. I’m a tall, black woman, with a noticeable accent. Me trying to play small physically is like a giraffe trying to hide behind a monkey. Me trying to play small in my business is missing my mark, it’s not impacting the many more women I’m meant to serve.

I share this with you, leader, so you can wrestle with your insecurities too. We all have them. How do you play small? How does knowing that your playing small does not serve your people, motivate you to do more?

Impactful Leaders Make Their Presence Known

One of my superpowers is holding women’s greatest, most aspirational vision of their impact, big, bright, and bold, front and center, so they can get busy doing the work to own their strengths, leverage their expertise, and ignite their passions to bring their purpose to fruition.

As a leader, you’re carving your own path. I don’t know what your challenge is, but I know that in partnership with you I can help you unveil your brilliance, so you are empowered to step into the spotlight and make your presence known.