One of the first lessons you’re taught as an aspiring coach is the importance of curiosity and being able to “dance in the moment” with your client. This means being detached from outcomes, not making assumptions, being prepared to go on the path of discovery and exploration the client takes you, and not needing to know.

As a recovering controlling person, not needing to know was (and is still sometimes) hard for me.

As a leader in a business, I dance with the risk of failure and rejection often.

 These are uncomfortable spaces for me to be in.

 Being in the gray area of “I Don’t Know” triggers imposter syndrome, the fear of being exposed, and the fear of being rejected. If that sounds heavy it's because it is!

 I have written a few posts on Imposter Syndrome because it is something that I have struggled with most of my life. I’m way better at tackling it when it shows up these days, but it can still give me a run for my money if I’m not careful.

 And that fear of rejection deal though—that gremlin can keep me playing way small. It shows up in the most insidious ways. Like telling myself, I’m just waiting to hear from God before I make a move. Or, thinking I’ve been there done that and that ship has sailed regarding things that would stretch me further. Or fooling myself into believing that my role now is to support leaders but not to lead myself.

 But all those mind games are just to keep me small. They have little to do with the truth about me and my purpose.

 The message I keep hearing from God is that my obedience to Him is way more important than my comfort. So if I’m feeling uncomfortable, if I am restless in the not knowing, I’m not only in good company but I’m also where I need to be. It means I’m on the right track!

 What about you friend? When you are in that space of “I Don’t Know,” what triggers for you? Do you crumble with feelings of insecurity? Or do you work even harder to get past the discomfort? Maybe you fear being ridiculed?

 Leadership is brave business! You don’t get to be an impactful, effective leader without having a healthy dose of courage.

 So, when the gremlins start getting loud in your head, saying that you’re stupid or not good enough, respond with, “What the heck do you know?” And anchor yourself in the truth of who you are, your gifts and talents, and all the many ways you have already made an impact.

 Finally, remind yourself that you are always in the learning zone and not in the performing zone. As a leader this keeps your feet planted humbly on the ground while allowing your hands to stretch and reach up towards the sky. Lead bravely, friend!

*This post was first published on LinkedIn.

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