As a purpose-driven woman, if you’re an overachiever like me, you may develop a habit of equating your performance at work with your level of self-worth.  As high achievers, we can become addicted to the adrenaline rush of exceeding expectations, receiving praise for a job well done, getting that recommendation, collecting accolades upon accolades, getting that raise or promotion. It never ends, does it? I don’t know about you, but it is exhausting. The effort of besting oneself repeatedly plays itself out over time. And here’s the rub: when the outside validation stops for whatever reason—career change, job loss, retirement, illness, a dry period, reaching one’s desired zenith, or simply growing out of favor—what is left? What do you hang onto when the only people you have cheering you on are me, myself, and I?

It is at this juncture that you find out whether you have nurtured and fostered healthy self-esteem. Seeking external affirmation is a risky business, as it depends on the fickle fancies of folks who often come and go with the tide.  The only constant is our unwavering and unfailingly loving God and the “self” that we have allowed to either foster or flounder. Seeking self-approval begins and ends within. There is no short cut, no fast track, no other way.

So, what are perfectionism seekers to do? Here are six principles that continue to work for me:

1. Accept that failure is part of the human experience. Yes, success feels great, I know. But real success only comes when we are truly willing to accept that failure is an option and we will survive it. I can attest to that!

2. Spend time loving on yourself to truly bolster your inner confidence. Embrace praise but do not substitute it for your own internal positive self-talk. What do you say to yourself in your downtime? Are you building and lifting yourself up or tearing yourself down? Do you know that it does not matter who thinks you’re awesome if you don’t?

3. Focus on progress, not perfection. High achievers are often perfection seekers. But the truth is that none of us is perfect. Aiming for perfection is a losing game. Instead aim to keep growing and learning. And learning some more. As a wise friend recently said to me, there is only winning or learning. Losing only happens when we don’t learn from our mistakes.

4. Recognize that you are so much greater than the “A”, the perfect 5 satisfaction rating, the exemplary performance. These are just metrics, but you are divinely YOU in all your expression. The bible says you are God’s masterpiece, created anew in Jesus Christ. Be not just satisfied but awed with that. You are enough, just as you are.

5. Know that having expectations of others is the pathway to disappointment. Chances are if you just concentrate on being the best version of yourself, the right people will notice and reward you accordingly. Let that be sufficient.

6. Loosen up! Life is meant to be experienced and enjoyed. It is a marathon, not a sprint. Get those endurance muscles in gear and enjoy the long ride. And discover yourself along the way.

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Natalie Jobity, MPhil, MBA, ACC, founder of The Unveiled Way, is a leadership and career coach, consultant, brand strategist, bestselling author, mentor, speaker, and facilitator who has earned a reputation as "The Brilliance Unveiler." She empowers female leaders to live in the fullness of their purpose and unveil their brilliance by leveraging the power of their strengths, expertise, and distinctiveness, so they make transformative impact in their sphere of influence.

 Visit Natalie’s website to learn more about how she partners with leaders with her signature “Unveil Your Brilliance” program and her "Brand Your Biz Like a Boss" consulting service.  While you’re there, join her Unveiled community and pick up your complimentary copy of her "Empowered to Lead: Seven Strategies to Help You Become a More Impactful Leader" guide. .