I did a stint as an adjunct lecturer in business at Howard Community College for a season and it was a humbling learning experience.   I never thought it would be so difficult to command 80 minutes of attention. But the experience taught me valuable lessons in leadership that I want to share with you.

1.     It’s not about me, it’s all about them. Well, this was a shocker. One of my biggest concerns coming into teaching was not being able to be the dynamic presenter I know I can be. In my first few classes, I left dejected when I felt I did not do a good job “presenting” the information. But then I had an ‘aha’ moment when I realized these kids could give a darn about my presenting skills. They were there to learn, and to get the highest grade they were capable of. Whether I presented the content flawlessly or clumsily was moot if they did not learn a few things after that class.

So, I started to relax. Once I let myself off the hook, I was able to be PRESENT to them. What did they really need from me? How could I make them understand the difference between fiscal and monetary policy, at its most basic level, without whipping myself into a frenzy drawing charts on the board trying to impress them with my skills? Once I realized that I was there to serve them completely with everything I had to offer, I could really begin to teach. It was not about my presentation but my presence.

The same is true for you as a leader. How can you be more present to those you lead? What does it look like to connect with them from an authentic space versus a performing one?

In her book Dare to Lead, Brene Brown talks about three ways leaders can empower their people:

Power With, is about finding common ground to build the collective strength of the team. Leveraging the power of collaboration, recognition, and respect, power with is a multiplier, making a much larger impact.

Power To is about giving team members the authority and influence to maximize their unique potential. The foundation of this pillar is the belief that everyone can make a difference when given the agency to do so.

Power Within, “is defined by an ability to recognize differences and respect others, grounded in a strong foundation of self-worth and self-knowledge.”

As a leader, ensuring team members have the resources, margin, and a healthy environment to do their best work and make their individual contributions, must be a top priority.

 2.     Keep it Real. You know who you really cannot impress especially when you’re trying? College-aged students! They really do not care how smart you are, how many degrees you have or which high-profile company you worked for. You can’t “pretend” when you’re a teacher. You can only do you.

Because of my personality, I’m very self–conscious when I don’t know the answers to questions. And to be honest, there is a lot I do not know.  I’m learning new things every day! Once I gave up trying to be perfect and instead focused on being authentic, I fostered stronger connections with my students.  In my first class, I was using the restaurant Chipotle as an example for a SWOT analysis, and I noticed a few of them snickering. Well, I’ll be darned—I had been pronouncing it CHIP-OL-TE  for years and never realized it until these students corrected me. I had to laugh with them and just let it go. I know it endeared me to them that much more. I’m not perfect. I’m human. And that is exactly as it should be.

As a leader, be mindful of your need to feel like you have to have it all figured out. You don’t need to be the “know-it-all.” In fact, you’ll probably get more support if you acknowledge when you don’t know and when you need someone else on your team to step up. Your ability to empower those you lead is worth more to them than whether you come across as the expert in everything, or worse, a perfectionist. Your people are motivated to rally around a common goal when you keep it real with them and create a shared space where curiosity, learning, and trust can foster.  

3.     Never Assume. My class was as diverse as you would expect at a community college. In my first few classes, I was trying so hard to impress the “smart kids” that I was excluding the ones who were really learning many of the concepts for the first time.  The latter were the majority. But I was so insecure about my abilities as a teacher, that it never occurred to me until after the first exam, that most of the students needed me to go a whole lot slower. I was assuming they all got it. Grading that first exam was an eye-opener.  I was appalled by how little seemed to be sinking in. But it forced me to dig deep and try a new approach. From that experience, I learned to teach for the weakest kid in that class. I knew the smart kids got it. But if I could make an underperformer get it? Priceless!  

As a leader, challenge yourself to leave room for possibility, different perspectives, curiosity. Never assume you have all the data.

In The Four Agreements, author Don Miguel Ruiz explains that the problem with making assumptions is that we can believe they are the truth. This then makes us defend our assumption which becomes our position which makes everyone else with a different opinion wrong. This is the recipe for a toxic team environment.

Assuming that everyone feels the way you feel or thinks the way you think, is narrow-minded, arrogant, and divisive.

A healthier leadership strategy is to be courageous enough to ask questions, to be willing to at least be partly wrong, so you can take in critical feedback. Fostering an open, communicative, collaborative environment where people feel safe to speak up and to speak the truth, will make your leadership effective, impactful, and transformative.

I believe all teachers are leaders in their own right, and my experience gave me a greater respect for the commitment and dedication of teachers. Thinking of the three lessons I learned that apply to leadership, which of these three points do you most struggle with as a leader?