So many women are afraid to ask for help. 

We tell ourselves we've got it figured out. Or we take pride in being self-sufficient.  Or perhaps we feel shame in being vulnerable around others, so we don't reach out.  Or we expect others to read our minds and know what we need so we don't ask, then harbor resentment when they invariably fall short.  Some of us grew up with narratives that said we must always look like we have it together, to never show our hand. 

A verse I've repeated often this year is from James 4:2-3 which says, "You have not because you ask not." Those words help me to remain humble and ask for help in ways that make me extremely uncomfortable.  But what I know for sure is that I don't want to be one of those people who don't have what they need or want because they're not asking for help! Nah. I've been there and done that and it's no fun shouldering everything on my own. 

As leaders, we may cling to some of these narratives because we buy into the falsehood that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Worse, some of us believe that we're "supposed" to have it all together and that we're needy and ineffective if we need help. Superwoman syndrome anyone? 

A truth that helped reframe for me why I need to lean into support, even more, is that by asking for help, I allow another the grace of being helpful and generous.  I give them the gift of being useful to me. Most of us don't think of it like that, but it's true. Some of us even think we're being a burden to others when we reach out forgetting that they have the authority, agency, and choice to say no. And that's perfectly OK. At least we asked. At least we didn't try to do it all on our own.

Asking for help can look like asking for: 

• Support

• Guidance

• Wisdom

• Clarity

• Resources

• A helping hand

• Prayer

• A fresh perspective

• And so much more

To level up in your career or business, you will need to reach out for help. Telling yourself you can do it alone is unwise and also often a way to end up frustrated and bitter.  

In my new book, It's Your Time to Shine Girl, I devote a whole chapter to talking about building what I call a “Success Squad” because I see that as fundamental in leadership and influence. I also wrote a section titled, “Advocacy = Asking” inviting women to consider that their asks are a form of self-advocacy.  

We all need help! And in leveraging the brilliance of others, we get to go further than we could on our own and shine even more brightly.  

As a coach, I rely on women to reach out to me if they think I can help them become the unstoppable leader or game changers they know they're meant to be.

Is that you, sister?

Reach out and let’s connect.

I promise whether we eventually work with each other or not, you'll leave with a few perspective-shifting gems. And if we do decide to partner together, it’s going to be game-changing, girl!