Become More Confident & Transform Your Mindset with This Secret Technique
In my last post, I shared how visualization can be a powerful technique to use with clients in goal setting and visioning. Another technique, Acting as If, is also transformative especially when I have coached clients who are stuck, fearful, or overwhelmed. According to Becoming a Professional Life Coach, Acting as If moves clients from stagnation to action because it helps coachees visualize that state as if the change they want has occurred which allows them to step out from that place in their life. This technique is also known as “trying on” or “fake it till you make it”.
What is Acting as If?
According to an article in Positive Psychology, by Shannon Polly, “Acting ‘as if’ gives people opportunities to enact the best possible outcomes or to create new stories about their lives. Asking people to pretend helps them get past resistance to change by reducing the risk.” The term was first used by William James, a psychologist who wrote in 1884, “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” He observed that Acting as If creates a shift in perspective necessary to create a new reality. Later his student, Alfred Adler, is credited with developing the role-play technique that most of us are familiar with today. As my clients start acting, thinking, and behaving differently, they evolve into the role they are trying on. When they “try on” new ways of being, it enables them to venture past their comfort zones into situations and environments that align with their desired objectives.
Acting as If is a simple technique I use in my coaching practice, particularly with career coaching, as it encourages clients to think, act, and feel as if they have a desired state. But Acting as If needs a true shift in perspective for it to move from just play-acting to real transformation. This technique isn’t as effective if clients don’t believe in themselves and don’t think they can do what it takes.
Pairing Acting as If with Visualization
For this reason, Acting as If is most effective when paired with visualization and affirmation. With affirmation, your clients can visualize their goal as already complete and use affirming statements to reinforce their new beliefs. If a client’s goal, for example, is to lose 50 pounds, they would visualize themselves 50 pounds lighter, wearing new clothes that flatter their new physique. They would also visualize people’s reactions to their weight loss. They would pair affirming statements such as, “I feel healthy, confident, and sexy at my ideal weight” or “Now that I’m at my ideal weight I have more energy to play with my kids,” Once the visualization and affirmations are clear and intentional, asking our clients follow-up questions like the ones below can help them solidify their new persona as they practice Acting as If.
· How would you feel if you started acting as if you already have what you want?
· How would you react to people and situations?
· How would you approach life?
· What would your behaviors and mannerisms look like?
· How would other people respond to you?
My Acting as If Testimonial
I used Acting as If over a decade ago when I was terrified to give my first presentation as an image consultant. I knew in my heart that I had to be willing to get out there and speak in front of groups if I wanted to be successful at increasing brand awareness and potentially snagging new clients. But in my corporate career as a market researcher, I had managed to fly below the radar and not present as much as most of my peers. Now here I was, about to give a presentation in front of a group of 30 professionals, and it was all up to me to sink or swim. I made sure I dressed the part of a successful entrepreneur and on the entire drive to the event, I affirmed that I was competent, capable, confident, and knowledgeable about the subject. Moreover, days before the presentation I visualized myself giving a successful talk. When game time rolled around, I got in front of the group and to my surprise, I morphed into a woman I had never experienced myself being before. This woman was confident and competent but more than that she was fun and passionate and charming. She was having a blast and even made jokes! Acting as If had transformed me from a terrified, insecure speaker to an engaging, bold, and successful one.
Putting it Into Practice
When I use Acting as If when coaching a purpose-driven woman, I’m inviting her to speak from a future state and to embody the behaviors, attitudes, and actions that are true in that state. For example if she is desiring a leadership position, I may invite her to imagine herself doing the types of activities that align with that position. I would have her imagine herself as that leader in her day-to-day, speaking, acting, and dressing the part of the leader she envisions herself to be. This combo of visualization and Acting as If helps her create a vision of her ideal future, then live that image out in her life as if it were true.
Internally, what is happening inside our brain is a change to the neuropathways. By repeatedly focusing, imagining, and trying on new behaviors aligned with our goals, we create new neuropathways that over time, become stronger than the old ones that kept us stuck or scared.
Ideally, visualization, affirmation, and Acting as If should be consistently employed at least several times a day for a minimum of 30 days. This gives the brain enough time to form new neuropathways that supersede the old ones that kept our clients challenged or stuck.
Natalie Jobity, MPhil, MBA, ACC, founder of The Unveiled Way, is a leadership and career coach, consultant, brand strategist, bestselling author, mentor, speaker, and facilitator who has earned a reputation as "The Brilliance Unveiler." She empowers female leaders to live in the fullness of their purpose and unveil their brilliance by leveraging the power of their strengths, expertise, and distinctiveness, so they make transformative impact in their sphere of influence.
Visit Natalie’s website to learn more about how she partners with leaders with her signature “Unveil Your Brilliance” program and her "Brand Your Biz Like a Boss" consulting service. While you’re there, join her Unveiled community and pick up your complimentary copy of her "Empowered to Lead: Seven Strategies to Help You Become a More Impactful Leader" guide.