The Importance of Wielding Your Words Wisely
When I gave presentations on professional presence as an image consultant, I often referenced research conducted by sociolinguist Albert Mehrabian, who found that 55% of our first impressions are based on how a person looks, 38% is based on how they communicate and just 7% is based on what they say. This was my “aha’ slide, the slide that made everything else in my presentation on image and professionalism relevant. The “just 7%” was justification for focusing on the visuals over the verbal.
But even back then, I always had tremendous respect for the veracity of voice, the power of the pen, and how our words wield our truth. Way before I became interested in style and image, I was a truth seeker. I believe we all are to some extent. What I believe is true, is what I value. What I value is what I focus on. What I focus on is what I speak into existence. What I speak into existence by a tweet, talk, conversation, or post, is my voice—it is my opinion, my expression, or the truth as I see it. My voice and my words leave an indelible print of my time here on earth.
Mahatma Gandhi advocated for unabashedly speaking one’s truth when he said, “Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth, for being correct, for being you. Never apologize for being correct, or for being years ahead of your time. If you’re right and you know it, speak your mind. Speak your mind. Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is still the truth.” Your truth is reflected in your voice. In this era of cancel culture, where others rush to judge our positions or beliefs, our words leave a legacy of our thoughts, beliefs, priorities, and perspectives. As a purpose-driven woman with influence in your spheres of influence, what type of impact are you leaving with your words?
This is no inconsequential matter. Our current President uses his words in a very public platform to express his mostly personal views. Every tweet he sends, whether you agree with his opinions or not, communicates so much about his character, principles, and values, not to mention his politics. He may say one thing using a teleprompter, but I believe the real man can be discovered in the one place where he can express himself unfiltered, where his voice is truly his own. Like him or not, on Twitter, you get the real deal.
In the past nine months, we have witnessed unprecedented tragedy in our country, from the hundreds of thousands of deaths from COVID, protests across the country reckoning with the racial injustice and police brutality brought against black men and women, a contested election, and sadly, a politicization of the one thing that can help stem the outbreaks of coronavirus short of the much-anticipated vaccines—wearing a mask. In times like these when the divergence of viewpoints makes us enemies of each other in our own country, just how do we use our voice?
As a writer and truth seeker, I sometimes feel so trapped by all the many words in me fighting for airtime, that none wins. And instead, just silence. Words of comfort to share in a season of so much grief seem insufficient. I am sure I’m not alone in this feeling. But we must all fight to find our voice and speak our truth, within the context of all the events happening around us. Scripture speaks often of using our words to uplift and encourage each other. For example, First Thessalonians 5:11 says: “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” What does that look like from your vantage point? How do you comfort, encourage, or embolden others who are suffering now?
Just consider the greatest leaders, orators, and champions in our modern world –John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr., Maya Angelou, Theodore Roosevelt, Mahatma Gandhi–whose words continue to surface decades after they have passed on. Their words leave a legacy unfettered by time and often context. Their voices offer hope, guidance, encouragement, purpose, and motivation. But moreover, their words were in sync with their characters, deeply enmeshed with their value systems. JFK said it best when he wrote: “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them.” Vice President-elect Kamala Harris recently remarked, “Anyone who claims to be a leader must speak like a leader. That means speaking with integrity and truth."
Harris’s words underscore an important fact about using our words: they must be authentic. Our words must reflect who we are and what we value. Time and time again we witness this President using his voice in divisive, shaming, self-aggrandizing, and equivocating ways. He vacillates so much that it is difficult for many Americans to trust anything he says. How unfortunate that the voice for this great nation has often failed its people.
The account of King Edward VI’s journey to finding his voice in the movie, “The King’s Speech” is one that fills me with awe. Here was a leader who struggled with a debilitating stammer, who fought to find a way to communicate to his people with confidence, command, and clarity, at a critical juncture in history. The heart of the movie is the unbreakable bond that develops between the aspiring King and his speech therapist, Logue. We see how much is at stake. The only way to communicate in real-time with the public in those days was via live radio where voice reigns supreme. The climax of the movie is the new King delivering his first wartime radio broadcast where he announced Britain’s declaration of war on Germany in 1939, without a hitch. The king’s speech inspired the country and united them in battle while giving the new monarch the confidence he needed to be King. What a legacy!
Most of us will never be a king or a president of a country, but we all have platforms to communicate. On social media, we have virtual followers and online friends. Some of us are influencers. We may be leaders in business or our community. We may pontificate from a pulpit or coach in a classroom. Regardless of the platform make no mistake, your words leave a legacy within your sphere of influence. This should give you pause before you speak, tweet, post, or share. Your words can uplift, edify, elevate, or enlighten. Or they can dis-empower, tear down, vilify and condemn. Your words can spread joy, pain, love, or hate.
Theodore Roosevelt’s quote about the “man in the arena” is now even more famous because it is where researcher turned author and influencer, Brene Brown, derived the title of her bestselling book, Daring Greatly. This is the power of voice! Truth begets even more truth and from Teddy Roosevelt’s poignant description of courage, we have a book that leaves a legacy that urges us all to let go of our facades and show our vulnerabilities because therein lies our strength and courage. We need that message more than ever today.
In these precarious times, will you join me in committing to getting in the arena, letting our voices be heard, living authentically from our truth, using our words for good, so hopefully, prayerfully, we can leave a legacy worthy of our time spent on earth? We’ve sure got our work cut out for us!
Natalie Jobity, founder of The Unveiled Way, is a branding strategist and clarity coach who helps ambitious, purposeful women intentionally cultivate the clarity, strategy, and mastery they need to realize their purpose and serve others from their brilliance. Visit her website at www.theunveiledway.coach to learn more about how she can help you abound in your brilliance.